Fish Supper - Train Derailment

The fear that sooner or later the ever growing mountain of rubbish at Liverpool Central station would eventually come home to roost, came home to roost yesterday in a dreadful incident that left Merseyrail staff and travelers alike, shocked and angered.  In an incident that stunned all who saw it, the 22.58 service to Kirkby was derailed last night when it hit a mountain of discarded semi-eaten Fish Suppers. The cause of the incident was a thoughtlessly disposed half-eaten fish supper. The casually disposed meal was the last of many late night meals  that had accumulated over many years in a pile of rubbish on the platform at Liverpool Central, a pile that finally tipped over under it's own weight into the path of the approaching train.

Already argument is fierce as to at whose door blame will and should be laid. Railtrack say all available measures that they could take in the face of this potential hazard had been taken with the recent fitting to the front of all trains of the new 'Supper-Plough' as shown below. 

A spokeman for Railtrack commented to The Arse End that "Tragically this was the wrong type of supper. Had this been a slowly rotting pile of Double Cheesburgers or even God forbid, Chicken Nuggets, we probably would have avoided this all together. Supper-Ploughs ,as effective as they are ,are just not designed to deal with any fish based supper, Cod in particular. "  When asked if this and similar incidents could have been avoided by the installation of bins on the station he replied that "Anyone who thinks the disposal of rubbish problem is solved by throwing it in a new bin that we might or might not install ,just isn't living in the real world. "  Liverpool Central station hasn't had a bin since the mid fifties, the last bin there being withdrawn in 1953. That particular bin  now resides in Liverpool Museum.

Joey Carter (14)  a passenger on the station at the time described the incident as he saw it. " I was going down on the up escalator with some mates when it all kicked off. I saw the train coming in and this bloke lobbed his chips away like and then like this stuff like, all suddenly came down like, onto the track and that. It was smart. Hey can I claim compo for this like...can I ?-  Even if I hadn't got a ticket or anything?"

Bob Greening head of Merseyside Transport Police, today commented at a press conference that .."The Public can rest assured that the person , persons or bodies responsible for this dreadful incident will be brought to book"

Transport Police today confirmed that they were questioning a nice piece of cod in connection with their investigations.